I know I need to blog about vacation...and I will...but I really need to talk about today...and in turn, may bring up some things that happened during my vacation.
I miss Steve...I know, I say it all the time. I can't help it but I do. I miss him with every fiber of my body. Time actually is going by pretty fast but it still doesn't make the days any easier.
Over the weekend, Jonathan and I got to say "see you soon" to two good friends who are going overseas very soon. It was such a bitter sweet time that it is hard to really discuss it. These men were both in the MA Guard with Steve when we lived up North and we became close with both of them and their families. They are like family to us.
Anyways, at the parties, I held it together pretty well for the most part. The first party I went to, I had my friend Nancy with me and she knows what it is like to be an Army wife and it was amazing having her there with me. The 2nd party was harder. On a night that was supposed to be about Elaine and Sean and their family, she included me and Jonathan. She presented me (along with the other couple of Army wives at the party) with a gift. She explained that we, as Army Wives, go through something like no other and no one knows what it is like except us. She is so right! AND of course it just brought up so much but I really tried to hold it together. The night was not about me!
PLUS, I was really stupid and watched "Deployment Day" on Army Wives. Now that TRULY made me sob! I know it is just a show but what they were saying to the troops and their families is what I heard on January 7 and 8 at Steve's deployment ceremonies. It was unbelievable to hear it all over again. Then I thought, wow, it has been 7 months! Steve has been gone 7 months. I can do this, I really can! I know I can! But looking at the next 5 months, I feel overwhelmed. Steve is going to miss Jonathan's birthday, his birthday party, his first day of VPK, Halloween, Thanksgiving...the World Series, College Football season, the start of the NFL season...all things we do together. UGH! It is only a few more months! But I just feel so empty without him. Like I am not whole...but this is an every day occurance and I know that in all reality, I will not feel complete until I have Steve home, safe and sound with me!!!
I am so sorry for rambling this evening. It was just something that I needed to get out of my head and onto the blog.
Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone for your support. It means the world to me!
Yesterday In Hartford
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